Looking after yourself as a carer
You need to look after yourself when you are caring for someone else. Taking the time to focus on your own health and wellbeing will also benefit the person you look after.
Take care of your health
As a carer, it is important to look after yourself. Here are some things you can do to take care of your health:
- Tell your GP that you are a carer so they can give you support and advice.
- Go to your health and screening appointments.
- You might be able to have a free flu vaccination (jab) if you are the main carer.
- If you are having problems eating or sleeping, are struggling with difficult feelings or finding it hard to cope, talk to your GP.
- Visit our wellbeing hub for self-care advice and resources.
Take regular breaks
It is important to take breaks from your caring role. Try the following tips:
- Accept help from others or ask for help.
- Make sure you have time off to relax.
- Do something you enjoy, like reading, going for a walk, meeting friends, or going for a meal.
The Carers Trust has some helpful infomation about taking regular breaks.
Eat well
Eating well is important to help you look after yourself:
- Try to eat healthy food and sit down to eat a cooked meal.
- If you are tired, ask a family member or friend to help make meals in advance.
- Eat with a friend, or go out for dinner together.
Be active
Finding time to exercise may not be a priority while you are a carer. But being active is important:
- Try to get out of the house every day and do some gentle exercise, like walking. This can help you feel less tired and stressed.
- If you enjoy sport or going to the gym, try to keep doing this.
Try to relax
You might find these tips useful to help you relax:
- Try relaxation techniques using simple breathing and relaxation exercises. You can use apps, podcasts or CDs to guide you (available at your local library, or online). Or ask a healthcare professional for advice.
- If you are caring for someone living with cancer, you may be able to access Sleepio for free. This is an app that offers a 6-week cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) programme to improve sleep.
- Try having a massage or another complementary therapy you enjoy. Your local Carers’ Centre, Macmillan Information and Support Centre or cancer support group may offer free complementary therapies for carers.
Get enough sleep
If you are looking after someone who is very ill, getting enough sleep can be difficult. You may not feel able to relax, or you may need to help them during the night. Try using relaxation techniques to help.
Some social services have care workers who can help at night. Your local council can provide details of your local social services. The Carers Trust will also be able to tell you what is available in your area.
Talk about your feelings
Being honest about your feelings can help you feel less stressed and more in control. You may think you should ignore your own feelings and only think about the needs of the person you are caring for. But you both need support to help you cope.
Try to get the support and information you need early on to help you develop ways of coping. Talk to family members, friends or one of the health or social care professionals involved in the person’s care. If your feelings are getting overwhelming or you feel depressed, it is important to get professional help.
We have more information about your feelings when someone close to you has cancer.
Macmillan is also here to support you. If you would like to talk, you can:
- Call the Macmillan Support Line for free on 0808 808 00 00.
- Chat to our information and support specialists online.
- Visit our Online Community to talk to other carers and share your experience.
Get support from other organisations
- Carers UK and the Carers Trust can give you information and advice about how to get the support you need.
- Cancer Caring Coping is a website where you can read about how other carers looking after someone with cancer have coped. It also has information about what they have found helpful.
Related pages
About our information
This information has been written, revised and edited by Macmillan Cancer Support’s Cancer Information Development team. It has been reviewed by expert medical and health professionals and people living with cancer.
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References
Below is a sample of the sources used in our cancer and emotions information. If you would like more information about the sources we use, please contact us at cancerinformationteam@macmillan.org.uk
National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE). Supporting adult carers. NICE guideline [NG150]. Published 22 January 2020. Available from www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng150 [accessed Jan 2023].Zeng Q, Ling D, Chen W, et al. Family Caregivers’ Experiences of Caring for Patients with Head and Neck Cancer. A systematic Review and Metasynthesis of Qualitative Studies. Cancer Nursing. 2023; 46,14-28. Available from doi.org/10.1097/ncc.0000000000001096 [accessed Jan 2023].
Date reviewed
Our cancer information meets the PIF TICK quality mark.
This means it is easy to use, up-to-date and based on the latest evidence. Learn more about how we produce our information.
The language we use
We want everyone affected by cancer to feel our information is written for them.
We want our information to be as clear as possible. To do this, we try to:
- use plain English
- explain medical words
- use short sentences
- use illustrations to explain text
- structure the information clearly
- make sure important points are clear.
We use gender-inclusive language and talk to our readers as ‘you’ so that everyone feels included. Where clinically necessary we use the terms ‘men’ and ‘women’ or ‘male’ and ‘female’. For example, we do so when talking about parts of the body or mentioning statistics or research about who is affected.
You can read more about how we produce our information here.