First symptoms
Two weeks prior to her cancer diagnosis Vicky found a lump on her breast. She thought nothing of it, but three days later it was still there so she called her GP for an appointment. When she called her GP first thing in the morning she was told she was 17th in the waiting list, and thought to herself "can I be bothered? You know, this is nothing. Why would I wait? Then I thought, let me just wait. I remember a work colleague telling me it’s nothing, probably fatty tissue – nothing to worry about."
After a physical examination, the GP referred Vicky to the Breast Clinic for further checks. "They would contact me within 2 weeks, but they contacted me in 2 days. I remember thinking why the urgency? I went on that Monday with an open mind and had a mammogram and a biopsy. The consultant called me in with a Macmillan nurse and told me that the results would come in 2 days, but it looked suspicious? I remember asking - suspicious of what? That was when the penny finally dropped, that it could be cancer."
Diagnosis
“On the Wednesday my husband and I drove to the clinic. We drove in silence. The consultant said to me, this is your scan… it’s two lumps, and as he was talking I was looking at him and thinking, is he talking to me? I remember sitting next to my husband and I just grabbed his hand cried. That was when the consultant realised that he needed to slow down. He then took his time and explained to me, that it was triple negative breast cancer and I’m in stage two.”
The Macmillan nurse then took Vicky and her husband to a room to chat through next steps. ‘She was amazing, she treated everyone as a person, as an individual.’
Vicky has two adult children “nobody prepares you. I never thought in my wildest dream I'd have to sit down with my children, tell them such news.”
Coping with chemotherapy and its emotional impact
“The chemotherapy was very daunting. I didn't read a lot about it because I didn't want to scare myself.
I tried the cold cap for two or three sessions, and I thought, you know what I can't do with it, it was giving me a headache because it freezes your hair. Every week I kept going and then one morning I woke up and my hair just fell out. You know it's going to happen, but when it happens, it hits you.
It was tough. It was hard. As much as your family love and support you, you feel they don't get it, because you are the one that is going through it. I'm quite a strong person and I would get up and try to tidy the house or cook a meal. I'm sure a lot of people do try and be normal and one day I just I couldn't get out of bed.
I remember my son coming in, he said Mom. You OK? And I replied - I can't get out of bed. I'll never forget that he said, ‘mom, you can't be strong all the time’. That hit me and I thought, yeah I can't be strong all the time. It's OK not to be OK, because this is not just the flu. This is cancer.”
