Lee’s diagnosis
When he was diagnosed with blood cancer just before his 47th birthday, Lee felt as though the rug had been pulled from under him. Lee is a proud northern man with a strong work ethic and a love of cycling, and first became aware something was wrong while out on the bike. “It was my cold, painful, black and blue toes that first made me think something was wrong.
Thinking it was a simple circulation problem, Lee went to his GP and had some blood tests. Then a bone marrow biopsy. Later, sitting in front of his consultant hematologist, Lee’s mind was spinning. “He just starts speaking and he's throwing all these big words out … and none of this means anything to me.” It was blood cancer.
With the impact of his diagnosis and side effects of his treatments, Lee’s passions were suddenly stripped away. “I'd gone from being someone who loved the outdoors, busy all the time, doing physical things to, well, you can't do that anymore.”
“I was in denial mode… It's the male stigma. Men don't talk.”
Lee's diagnosis impacted his mental health
This new reality was a devastating blow to Lee’s mental health. He shut down, bottling things up. Carrying the burden alone. He was struggling as much with his mental health as his physical diagnosis. “I was in denial mode … It's the male stigma. Men don't talk. I'd always worked. And then it was like, I can't work. What do we do?”
Lee spiralled, silently. “There's woods at the back of us that lead down to the river. I walked through the woods, got to the side of the river and just thought, you know what? I'm sick of all this. And I was ready to throw myself in the river.” It was thoughts of his family that pulled him back.
With gentle encouragement from his wife, Lee finally reached out to the Macmillan Support Line or the help and support he needed. The team was there to guide Lee through some of his darkest times. After speaking to Macmillan, Lee went on to have some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) sessions, which helped him to manage and make sense of the emotional rollercoaster he was experiencing.
“Macmillan are the perfect people to go to because they care… And I think that's just so important for everybody to know.”
Helping others gave Lee a new purpose
The landscape of Lee’s whole existence had shifted. Medically retired, he felt lost and without purpose. And then he had an idea &hellip
“Macmillan helped me with my mental health and what have you. So I thought, right. He's a little challenge for me. Is there any way I can take what I've learned from Macmillan, and pass that on to anyone else? Yeah. There is.”
Lee became the first male volunteer at North Tees and Hartlepool Cancer Information and Support centre (University Hospital of North Tees). He is a compelling advocate for men speaking and communicating about cancer and is on a mission to break taboos.
He works with Macmillan as a listening ear and a patient representative, challenging inequities in healthcare in the Teeside area, and encouraging men to start talking. As part of a local all-male choir called Infant Hercules, he brings his advocacy work out into the heart of the communities that need it most.
Men can find it difficult to talk about personal issues. Lee knows that meeting them in familiar social spaces, where they feel comfortable and safe, invites candid conversations. “It's not a support group, it's just a load of blokes meeting in a pub for the chat and a drink and a sing. We've all got a story. We're such a disparate group from all sorts of walks of life. But this, we've all got in common.”
Lee’s message to all men, regardless of background, is simple: “The biggest thing in any cancer battle can be early diagnosis. Forget your male pride. Talk, seek help.”
