Jess' diagnosis
After experiencing severe and persistent abdominal pains for over a year, Jess, 28, from Newtonabbey in Northern Ireland, had become a regular at her local A&E department – but never got a clear diagnosis.
A busy mum of 2 young boys (and a cat!), Jess was determined not to ignore her symptoms. “I knew there was something there. I just didn't quite know whereabouts in my body it was. But I definitely knew it was to do with the bowel."
In one memorable appointment, the GP told her, “You’re too young. It’s not possible. It’s all in your head.” But Jess refused to give up. “I just kept saying ‘I really believe I have bowel cancer'." The GP finally agreed to refer her for a colonoscopy.
Following the procedure, Jess enjoyed a reassuringly simple slice of toast and a cup of tea while waiting to see the consultant. Life for Jess wouldn’t feel that normal again for a long time.
“The doctor took me into the room and had the Macmillan booklets there. I knew then what I had. It was horrible, but it was clarification. Like, I told you this is what it was and you didn’t believe me.”
What followed was a stage 4 bowel cancer diagnosis, and a relentless series of surgeries and treatments, wrapped in and an exhausting cycle of hope and bad news, which included the discovery of a second cancer, in the rectum. Incredibly, Jess kept a largely positive mindset throughout.
“I've had my days where I've sat and cried and like didn't wanna be here… like, why does that have to happen to me? But you just keep going."
“I've had my days where I've sat and cried and like didn't wanna be here… like, why does that have to happen to me? But you just keep going.”
Jess was supported by a Macmillan nurse
Jess was supported by a Macmillan nurse, Kirsty, throughout. She was initially concerned that having a Macmillan nurse meant she was on an end-of-life path. But was quickly reassured that this was not the case – Macmillan nurses can be there to support you at any point during your cancer experience.
For Jess, Kirsty was precisely the clinical and emotional support system she needed, when she needed it. “She never downplayed things, never lied to me, but was always so fair and positive about it. We talked about so many things, from the nitty gritty to the scary… she took the weight of it.”
“Everybody needs a Kirsty, I’d be lost without her.”
How Jess is inspiring people to speak up for themselves
Taking care of her mental health played a vital role in Jess’ ability to cope with everything that was happening to her. Her local nail salon became a sanctuary, a place to feel seen as a person and not just a patient, a place to offload. “It’s the one thing I do for myself.” Jess made regular visits, even when deeply unwell in the middle of treatment.
Among the many challenges Jess faced during her treatment, having an ileostomy was one of the most difficult to navigate and come to terms with. She now lives with an ostomy bag, but has approached the practical reality of this with characteristic pragmatism and openness. “If I had to give anybody advice on first getting their stoma, I would just say not to be scared… you just go to the toilet in a different way."
Jess has faced ignorance around her invisible disability head-on, determined to educate people and advocate for herself and others. “In the disabled loos, people look you up and down, like, what’s wrong with you? And there’s been times where I’ve just whipped out the bag and said, ‘I’ve got an ostomy bag,’ and then they understand it!"
The resilience Jess has shown is inspirational. But her experience is a stark reminder that cancer doesn’t discriminate. “My biggest word of advice would be to speak up for yourself. Use your own voice and be your own advocate. And don't let them talk down to you."
