When you’re reaching the end of your life, partners, family and friends become even more important and provide support and reassurance.
However, terminal illness can sometimes make relationships difficult. Many people find it hard to know what to say. You may find people react in unexpected ways. Some people may avoid talking about your illness completely. Others may be unrealistically cheerful, making it difficult for you to say how you feel.
Your partner, children or close friends may irritate you by being overprotective. Close family and lifelong friends may feel like strangers, just at the time when you need them most.
Sometimes, partners try to protect each other from the truth by pretending it’s not happening. But talking openly with each other about your feelings can help support both of you through sadness, anxiety and uncertainty. You may find that your relationship becomes stronger as you face the challenge of your illness together.
It’s important to keep your relationship as normal as possible. If you’ve always been close and talked a lot, there’s no reason not to continue to do this. When you don’t know what to say, a hug or holding hands can be very comforting.
If you’ve always argued a lot, don’t feel you must try to change this. There are bound to be times when you don’t get on well. If you argue, having short breaks from each other can help you think more calmly.
Remember that everyone will be shocked by the news. Your family and friends are also dealing with powerful emotions, and may need help and support to deal with them. Their feelings and emotions will also change over time.
Some people find their relationships improve as they, and the people close to them, realise what’s really important. You may become much closer to some people. Your illness can also be an opportunity for you and others to get back in touch, or resolve past arguments or bad feelings.
Macmillan’s cancer support specialists can provide advice and support for your family and friends. You can call them on 0808 808 00 00. You can also call the Marie Curie Support Line on 0800 090 2309 for information and support on living with a terminal illness, or caring for someone who has a terminal illness.