Young carer in school, college or work

As a young carer, you may find going to school or college a welcome relief. It means that you can see friends and forget about your problems for a few hours. Or you may find that it can be worrying.

Some of the things you may be worried about are:

• getting to school on time
• finding it difficult to concentrate
• completing homework
• managing your studies as well as your caring responsibilities
• being away from the person you care for.

There is no right or wrong way to feel. Not everyone has the same experience. But telling your school that you are a young carer makes it much easier to get practical and emotional support.

There will be someone at school who can make sure you do not have to go through everything alone. You can ask your teacher if there is a young carers’ lead in your school to help support your mental health.

Teachers are there to help you reach your full potential, whatever challenges you face. If you tell them about your situation at home, they may be able to:

• let you phone the person you are caring for during breaks or lunchtimes
• help you with homework or deadlines if you are struggling
• organise help for your family to travel to parents’ evenings if it is hard for them to leave the house
• arrange for you to talk about how you feel with a school counsellor.

In England and Wales, there is a free programme called Young Carers in Schools. It is run jointly by Carers Trust and The Children’s Society. This programme can help your school put the right support in place for you and other young carers.

There is lots of information available to help schools support young carers:

As a young carer, you may not have as much time to do your homework as others in your class. After school, you may be cooking meals or doing housework, or you may not feel able to study. Try to take one day at a time.

If you find it hard to concentrate at home, think about whether there is another place that you can do your homework. This could be at the house of another family member or friend, or at a school or homework club. Some young carers’ projects also run homework clubs.

If you are worried about not getting your homework done, you can ask a young carer worker or family member to talk to your school. The school may be able to give you a bit less homework, or more time to do it.

These websites may help you with your homework, coursework or revision for exams:

• BBC Bitesize – offers free videos, step-by-step guides, activities and quizzes to support your learning and exam preparation. Also available as an app.
• Grid Club – has a news section and a library. It offers help with homework, puzzles and quizzes.
• Homework Elephant – has over 5,000 resources to help you with your homework projects.

Balancing caring and going to school can be hard. Sometimes you may feel that you need to take a day off to look after the person with cancer. There may be days when you struggle to get to school on time. If this happens, speak to a teacher or someone who works at your school as soon as you can. They may be able to help you get more support at home, so you can concentrate on your studies.

A GP, nurse, social worker or young carer worker can also help you get support for yourself and your family.

If you have a job, it can be hard to balance working and caring. But work can be a chance to socialise, improve your confidence and reduce money worries.

You may be thinking about whether to tell your employer that you look after someone with cancer. As a young carer, you have important rights that protect you at work.

Carers Trust has produced a free guide called Getting into work: A guide for young adult carers in England. It includes advice on how to find a job, speak to your employer about being a carer and manage at work.

As a young carer, you are probably learning lots of practical, organisational and communication skills. These skills are likely to be valuable to employers when you apply for a new job. You could highlight this experience on your CV and application forms.

At an interview, you could give examples of skills that you have used in your caring role. For example, you may be asked to describe a situation where you have managed your time well. There is also likely to be a chance for you to ask questions. It is a good idea to find out if, for example, the employer offers flexible (different) working arrangements.

You can get help looking for a new job from your local Jobcentre Plus (in England, Scotland and Wales), the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) or Jobs and Benefits office (in Northern Ireland).

If you are working, even if just part-time, it is your choice whether to tell your manager that you are caring for someone with cancer.

You may choose not to tell anyone at work that you are a young carer. For some people, having a part-time job is a good chance to get out of the house and do something for themselves. It means having a place where you do not have to think or talk about cancer.

But if you tell your manager about your situation, they may be able to give you more support. Your manager is likely to be more understanding if you need to miss work or are late. They may be able to give you time off or arrange a more flexible work pattern.

Here are practical tips for talking to your manager about being a young carer.

1. Try to arrange a meeting with your manager. You could say something like: ‘Please can we arrange a time to have a private conversation? I would like to talk to you about my caring responsibilities at home.’
2. It is useful to make a list of the main things to talk about and questions to ask at the meeting.
3. If you feel nervous, take someone with you to the meeting for support. It is best to meet in a quiet place where you will not be interrupted. You can remind your manager to keep everything you tell them confidential.
4. At the meeting, it is a good idea to make notes and keep a record of them. You can explain briefly that you look after a family member and what you do to help. You do not have to say that the person has cancer, but you can if you feel comfortable.
5. Try to explain how being a young carer may affect your work. For example, you may sometimes have to take time off at short notice. You and your manager can then talk about possible solutions, such as working at home sometimes.
6. Ask your manager what leave (time off) you can take and what other support is available in your situation. Suggest having regular catch-up meetings. You can then review how any changes are working and whether you are getting enough support.