Planning ahead when you look after someone with cancer

The person you look after can tell you and others their wishes for their future care. They can record this in an advance statement. By writing it down, they can make it clear what they want.

This can help you, friends or family and the healthcare team make decisions in their best interest, if they are unable to. They can write it with support from you, friends or family and their healthcare team. It could be a record of a conversation with their GP or nurse.

It can include things like: 

• where they would like to be cared for
• who is important to them, and how they want them to be involved in their care
• how they would like to be cared for
• how they want any religious or spiritual beliefs to be reflected in their care
• what treatment they would prefer to have or not have
• practical things that are important to them.

An advance statement is not legally binding. It does not need to be signed or witnessed. But people may wish to sign it, if they can, to show that they wrote their wishes down.

The person you look after decides who can see their statement. But anyone who makes decisions about the person’s care must know about it.

We have more information about recording someone’s wishes for their care and the different documents that can be used. There is also information about what might be included.

If the person you are caring for wants you, or others, to make decisions or manage things for them, they can make a power of attorney.

A power of attorney is a legal document. It lets the person you look after choose (appoint) someone to make decisions and manage things for them if they become unable to do that. The person they appoint is called their attorney. The power they give them can be long term (permanent) or short term (temporary).

A permanent power of attorney is called:

• a lasting power of attorney (LPA) in England and Wales
• a continuing power of attorney in Scotland
• an enduring power of attorney (EPA) in Northern Ireland.

A temporary power of attorney may be called:

• an ordinary power of attorney
• a general power of attorney in Northern Ireland.

We have more information about making an LPA in:

• England and Wales
• Scotland.

You can find out more about making an EPA in:

• Northern Ireland.

There may come a time when the person you look after cannot make decisions for themselves. 

If you have power of attorney, you may be involved in making decisions for them. Or their healthcare team may involve you in decisions about their treatment and care. This could include decisions about stopping treatment.

If the person has made an advance statement to refuse treatment, you might already know their views and wishes. Or you may have already had conversations with them that will help you make difficult decisions.  

You might have made your own notes about what they want to happen. This will help remind everyone what was said and avoids any mistakes.

Sometimes it can be difficult to make decisions because other people also want to be involved. Or you may not want to be involved in making decisions at all. Use your own judgement and rely on the trust between you and the person you are caring for.

It is important to talk to any family members or friends who are involved in the person’s care, to make sure you all agree. 

It also helps to have an honest conversation with the health and social care professionals involved. They can offer information and advice to help you make decisions. 

It is important you fully understand what each option is, and how a decision will affect the person you are caring for.

There may be times when the person’s wishes cannot be met. For example, it may not be possible for them to stay at home until the end of their life. 

Sometimes it might be more comfortable for them to be in a hospice or hospital, where they can have specialist care and support. 

This may be because their symptoms have become too difficult to manage at home. It can also be because it has become very tiring and difficult for you to care for the person at home. 

The GP or palliative care team can talk to them, and help them understand why their wishes cannot be met.

Although it can be disappointing, it is important to know that you have done your best. It does not need to be the end of your caring role. You can still visit and be closely involved in their care.

If a hospice is involved in caring for the person, the staff will support you and offer advice. Hospices offer a range of services, and are not only for the end of life.