Meet Jess
When Jess was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer at the age of 28, she was told her cancer could not be cured.
Three years later, she is raising her two children, adapting to life with a stoma and finding joy in everyday moments she once took for granted.
Living with incurable cancer has brought uncertainty, treatment and life-changing surgery. But it has also shown Jess the importance of support, resilience and focusing on what matters most.
Lving in Northern Ireland with her family, Jess shares what living with incurable cancer is really like, how she adapted to life after treatment and why having the right support can make all the difference.
Meet Jess
Nobody wants to hear the word cancer. But for Jess, getting that diagnosis came after three years of being told she was too young, too anxious and too healthy to be seriously ill.
"I had abdominal pain for about three years on and off and was back and forth to the hospital multiple times, but it was never picked up.
They told me I was too young to have cancer and kept saying it was irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), then they said Crohn's and endometriosis.
One GP told me it was all in my head and she'd refer me for counselling. It was infuriating."
But Jess knew something wasn’t right.
"I was having dreams I had cancer. It was constantly on my mind. I was going to A&E all the time.
I knew myself that it was cancer, but no one would listen to me."
Jess has ahared more about her diagnosis journey, the challenges she faced getting answers and why speaking up for yourself matters in Jess on how she spoke up for herself.
"I was kind of relieved when they told me it was cancer”
In September 2022, a colonoscopy found a 10cm tumour in Jess’ colon. The following month she was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer that had spread to her lung.
"When I was first diagnosed they told me I was incurable and inoperable. They were talking weeks."
Despite the devastating news, Jess immediately focused on what could be done.
"My first words were: ‘Has anyone ever beaten it?’
When doctors explained that some people had responded well to treatment, she held on to that hope.
"I said, ‘Well I'm going to be in the percentage of those people who have.’”
Her children became her biggest motivation..
"I've always told myself I've got children to raise. My kids need me until they're adults themselves and I'm not going to leave this earth until my job's done."
Living with incurable cancer
Jessica had an emergency stoma operation, followed by eight rounds of chemotherapy and 25 sessions of radiotherapy. In late 2023, bowel and lung resections were carried out.
Genetic testing revealed a mutation in her large bowel. To reduce the risk of further cancer, Jess chose to have her ovaries and fallopian tubes removed too.
"I found the chemo really hard. It was the nausea, it was so awful. You'd go in full of life, full of colour, and by the end of the session you were pure white, sick as a dog, it was horrible.
Treatment brought physical and emotional challenges, but Jess continued to focus on the people and things she loved most.
Today, she wants more people to understand that incurable cancer does not always mean life stops.
"People think stage 4 cancer is a death sentence but it's not.
It's managed but not cured. People live many years with incurable cancer."
