Who can you talk to?

Some people are lucky. They have a close circle of friends and family who can give them a lot of support. Other people do not have many people to support them.

However, even with a supportive family and a wide circle of friends it can at times be difficult to talk about cancer. There can be a deep feeling of inner isolation and a sense that only people who have experienced cancer can understand your thoughts and feelings.

So, if you want to talk, who is the best person to talk to?

The most likely person is whoever you usually talk to about important issues. They know you best and can hopefully give you the support that you need.

If it is difficult to find such a person, maybe there is someone else you might feel comfortable talking to about difficult problems? It might be anyone – your partner, your closest friend, your mother, sister, brother or a religious leader. It may even be somebody you quite like but haven’t until now, been friends with. Often, people with cancer find it difficult to talk to close family or friends, and find it easier to speak to someone they do not know so well.

Organisations and counselling Back to top

If you can't find anyone to talk to, our cancer support service| can give you details of how to find counsellors in your local area or see our list of counselling organisations|. You can also ask your doctor or nurse or someone else on your medical team to tell you about any counselling services available. You can also contact the Cancer Counselling Trust.|

Support groups Back to top

Most areas of the UK also have cancer support groups|. Support groups consist of people with cancer, sometimes led by a healthcare professional. Other members of the group may be in a similar position to you, or they may not. It is quite usual for a group to include people with different types of cancer at different stages. You may find this wider experience helps you to see your own problems from a different perspective.

Some people find groups very helpful, and they form bonds with other members that are deeper and more significant than almost anything in their past. However, other people get embarrassed or uncomfortable when talking about personal issues with strangers. If groups are not your style, don’t worry.

Internet support groups Back to top

If there is no group near to you, or you have problems getting to one, you can join internet support groups| or chat rooms. There are a number of internet groups for various cancers. These are easy to join and you can ‘talk’ to other people. If you want, you can stay anonymous and just read the emails of other people on the list.

This can be very supportive, as you can find out that other people have similar thoughts, emotions and experiences. It can make you feel less alone and can help you learn how to cope with the treatment and live with cancer. Internet groups are easy to join and also easy to leave, without any need for personal contact or explanations.