Responding to other people

It can be very difficult to acknowledge that you have cancer. It is natural for anyone who has recently been told that they have cancer to feel overwhelmed by their emotional reactions|. It can also be very difficult to deal with other people’s emotions and reactions to your situation.

Some people can’t cope with their own emotions and may tend to avoid the difficult situation altogether. So your friends might prefer to stay away from you, rather than accept that they have strong emotions that they cannot deal with. Here are some tips for dealing with this situation:

• Always try to respond to your relative or friend’s feelings 
  If you are good at guessing how people feel, it can be helpful to identify your friend’s emotion and what caused it. This can be quite simple, such as ‘When I talk about the cancer you look really upset’ or ‘It looks as though you get very scared when you come here.’

• Don’t be afraid to say how you feel at the same time: ‘I think both of us are finding this awful.’ Or ‘I know you’re worried about what could happen and so am I.’ The more aware you both are of each other's feelings, the better the communication will be.

• If you get into some type of argument (which is not unusual) see the section called ‘Hints for resolving conflict'.