I was told that I would need surgery and then radiotherapy. They ended up doing a lumpectomy and total lymph node removal but they didn’t get enough from the Lymph nodes, so they did a second biopsy which concluded that I needed chemotherapy.
I started chemotherapy on October 14. I really dreaded it. I have seen all of the ‘Hollywood’ images of chemo, with people emaciated and the bald heads and the sickness and that was what I was really dreading. I contacted the Macmillan Support Line about that and they completely understood. They told me that how I was feeling was totally normal and made me feel much calmer and ready for things. I liked the fact that they kept my story updated, so each time I spoke to a different person I didn’t have to repeat myself. That felt easier and better.
I tried to attack it with real positivity. I kind of bounded in there all jolly and the steroids they gave me sent me a bit potty and hyper. We went straight to the supermarket and then I was very manic at home and bouncing off the walls for the next few days. So it was a strange period but it wasn’t that bad.
Things were very different at my second round of chemo. I was in the chemo ward and there were a lot of very sick people there. I felt a huge amount of guilt. I felt like I wasn’t sick enough to be here with these people. I only had a bit of breast cancer. It was very hard emotionally. I finished my chemo in February and then I had a month of daily radiotherapy which ended in April.