Bereavement at school
Open discussions about illnesses like cancer can help to give pupils the message that it's okay to talk about illness and loss. Our section on talking to children when an adult has cancer may have some useful advice at this time.
When someone dies
When the death of someone with cancer directly affects a school, teachers have an essential role to play in supporting children through the grieving process. If a teacher or classmate dies, it's important that pupils are told as soon as possible, and given all the facts. If they don't have the correct information, rumours can start and children might use their imagination to fill in the gaps. Pupils need to be reminded, for example, that cancer is not contagious and that not everyone who has cancer will die.
Dealing with emotions
People who are affected by the death of someone at school are likely to experience a range of emotions. These may include sadness, anger, confusion and guilt. Try to help your class to understand that it's normal to feel a variety of often conflicting emotions when someone dies. It’s likely that you’ll see changes in your pupils’ behaviour too. Children and young people will often express their feelings in actions rather than words.
It's important to try to maintain boundaries of acceptable and non-acceptable behaviour, but offer children the chance to talk about their feelings.
It's understandable that you might feel upset too. Try not to worry if children see you upset. This will show them that it is normal to have strong emotions at this time, and may encourage them to discuss their own feelings. It isn't a sign of weakness to need support yourself and this may help you to know how to talk to your class.
Remember, you don't have to deal with the situation alone. You might be able to turn to your colleagues for help and there are other sources of support and information available for you and your pupils when you're coping with a loss in school. You can talk to us for more information about the support that is available.
Our section on bereavement has information about coping with grief, and details of the support that is available.