When it's hard to ask for help
Some people find it difficult to seek help and support, or would simply rather not know too much about their illness. However, others feel more in control if they find out as much as they can, and it helps them to think about how they might help themselves. This, in turn, can be a step towards asking for support or help from others when it is most needed.
Share your worries and concerns
Discussing your worries and concerns can also help to relieve anxiety. Many people find it very difficult to discuss their worries and fears with the people closest to them. Perhaps they don’t want to worry them, or are concerned about becoming a burden. Some people may not want to risk prematurely the potential impact a diagnosis of cancer may have on their relationships.
Talking anonymously to someone knowledgeable and understanding is often much easier. You can do this over the telephone; Macmillan’s local cancer information and support services also give you the option of anonymity when proving face to face support.
When you worry about the feelings of others first
Sometimes people feel they have to keep their emotions suppressed so they don’t upset their family and friends. There is also the fear that if they show their feelings they may release a flood of emotions that may then be impossible to contain.
It is often most difficult to cope with the first few weeks after a diagnosis. People take time to come to terms with the impact the diagnosis has had on their lives. Family and friends also have to cope with their emotions and reactions to the fact that someone they love and are very close to has cancer. How this affects everyone can vary enormously.
There is no ‘right’ way to respond to the diagnosis. It is normal to expect to go through very different and powerful emotions at different times.
Showing emotion
Some people feel that emotions are a sign of weakness and are further upset or angry with themselves for not keeping their feelings under control. However, these emotions are an important part of coming to terms with the impact that cancer (or any other potentially serious illness) has on your life.
Only when you have come to terms with it, can you then move on to handle it more effectively. These feelings are like a kind of grieving process: grieving for the loss of your health and its replacement with something that seems much more uncertain.
Read more and get advice on talking about cancer on our Cancerbackup site.
Need to talk to someone? We are here to help. Call our Cancerline freephone on 0808 808 2020