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<p begin="00:17" end="00:22">My name's Bengu Shail, I'm 32, and I live in South East London.</p>
<p begin="00:24" end="00:29">I always had really long hair, really long, lovely hair.</p>
<p begin="00:29" end="00:35">I used to spend a lot of money, you know, I was really pedantic about it, and it was quite a bit part of my identity as well.</p>
<p begin="00:36" end="00:42">I was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia on the 21st of September last year.</p>
<p begin="00:42" end="00:49">and from that moment on, the first question I asked my doctor was 'Am I going to lose my hair?'</p>
<p begin="00:49" end="00:53">And she said 'Yes', and I said 'Are you sure, because some people don't lose their hair?'</p>
<p begin="00:52" end="00:58">And she said 'You're definitely going to lose your hair'. So, it was a big shock.</p>
<p begin="01:08" end="01:13">I didn't plan for my hair loss at all. In my mind it was always mind over matter.</p>
<p begin="01:13" end="01:16">I wasn't going to lose my hair and my doctor was wrong.</p> 
<p begin="01:16" end="01:20">I was winning the battle against the hair thing until I had radiotherapy,</p>
<p begin="01:20" end="01:23">and that's when I lost my hair.</p>
<p begin="01:23" end="01:26">For two weeks it was fine, and then it started coming out in clumps.</p>
<p begin="01:26" end="01:32">And that's when everyone started getting really upset in my house about my hair</p>
<p begin="01:32" end="01:40">because I couldn't win any more, I couldn't win the battle. So I asked my sister to get the razor out and start shaving my hair off.</p>
<p begin="01:40" end="01:43">It was a really emotional experience. She was upset, I was upset.</p>
<p begin="01:43" end="01:48">She was trying to pretend to me that she wasn't upset, and I was trying to do the same with her.</p>
<p begin="01:48" end="01:53">We came downstairs and we showed my mum and she was crying</p>
<p begin="01:53" end="02:04">and then I just felt okay. It was almost like I had some sort of closure and it didn't feel as bad as I thought it would.</p>
<p begin="02:04" end="02:11">Hairdresser: Hi there, I'm Emma, I'm Strength in Style consultant for the salon. </p>
<p begin="02:11" end="02:15">So, do you know much about the Strength in Style service that Toni and Guy offer?</p>
<p begin="02:15" end="02:19">Bengu: I know that you help people choose wigs when they're losing their hair but that's all I really know to be honest.</p>
<p begin="02:20" end="02:23">Hairdresser: First of all, we can take you right from the beginning if you want your own hair cut.</p> 
<p begin="02:23" end="02:30">Some people do feel that they want to cut their hair shorter before they're going to start their treatment,</p>
<p begin="02:30" end="02:33">and that's something we can do for you. And then we can go through the wigs as well.</p> 
<p begin="02:33" end="02:37">So we can go through colours and styles together.</p>
<p begin="02:37" end="02:41">Bengu: I've brought two with me, I've got three. </p>
<p begin="01:41" end="02:48">I've got one real hair wig which is basically identical to what my hair used to look like.</p>
<p begin="02:49" end="02:53">Before I lost my hair I decided to wear my wig just to get used to wearing it,</p> 
<p begin="02:53" end="03:02">and it was a really good thing that I did because I didn't feel like somebody wearing a wig, I felt like somebody having fun.</p>
<p begin="03:01" end="03:04">it kind of got me to look at wearing the wig in a different way.</p>
<p begin="03:05" end="03:08">I love this one because I can do whatever I want with it.</p> 
<p begin="03:08" end="03:14">I can put it in rollers. I stick clips in it so I love that, but this is just a lot easier to manage day to day.</p>
<p begin="03:14" end="03:18">Hairdresser: I think the initial thought is to have a real hair wig so it feels more natural</p>
<p begin="03:18" end="03:21">but in the reality of when you're not feeling too well,</p>
<p begin="03:21" end="03:24">when you're going through treatment I think the synthetic one's great, </p>
<p begin="03:24" end="03:27">that you can just put it on and it just moulds itself back into shape.</p>
<p begin="03:27" end="03:33">Bengu: That one's the one that goes to the hairdressers, and this one, I just wear day to day. </p>
<p begin="03:34" end="03:37">When I go out, I like to wear my wigs, it's a way of, you know,</p>
<p begin="03:37" end="03:45">It's another accessory that I put on, that's kind of how I see it, it's a way of dressing up. But I never forget that it's on.</p> 
<p begin="03:45" end="03:50">The first thing I do when I get home is take the wig off and just dump it somewhere.</p>
<p begin="03:50" end="03:55">I'm thinking maybe I should get another one, because I've got three dark ones. It would just be nice to have a different colour.</p>
<p begin="03:55" end="04:00">Hairdresser: These are the swatches that we use, so you can see that there's quite a variety of colours.</p> 
<p begin="04:00" end="04:04">I think if you're going to go for a red, I'd say something a little bit darker.</p>
<p begin="04:05" end="04:12">Bengu: Every wig is different. One of my wigs is like wearing a net on your head. It's like wearing a hat really.</p>
<p begin="04:12" end="04:14">Hairdresser: What kind of style did you have in mind?</p>
<p begin="04:14" end="04:16">Bengu: I was probably thinking of a bob.</p> 
<p begin="04:16" end="04:22">Some wigs are quite hot, and some wigs, depending on what it's like inside, are quite cool to wear.</p>
<p begin="04:22" end="04:27">So you have to choose them really carefully, and make sure that the one you're picking isn't too thick inside.</p>
<p begin="04:27" end="04:29">Bengu: I like that one. </p>
<p begin="04:29" end="04:33">Hairdresser: Yes, so a little shorter version. Okay i'll get them all ordered for you.</p>
<p begin="04:33" end="04:42">Bengu: Oh I've got some questions for you. My hair's starting to grow back, but it's growing back like baby hair.</p>
<p begin="04:42" end="04:44">Hairdresser: Yes, everyone's hair grows back differently. </p>
<p begin="04:44" end="04:48">Some people's will grow back finer and some people's will grow back coarser. </p>
<p begin="04:48" end="04:52">It's usually just that initial hair growth that will be quite different</p>
<p begin="04:52" end="04:57">and you'll find it will change again and it may go back to how your hair was before, it may be a permanent change.</p>
<p begin="04:58" end="05:02">Bengu: I'm probably adverse to going dating at the moment, because of my hair, </p>
<p begin="05:02" end="05:07">and the reason being, and it's probably stupid, but from my point of view, when I like to go out, I like to put my wigs on,</p> 
<p begin="05:07" end="05:13">so when you're dating someone, at what point do you tell them that you're wearing a wig? </p>
<p begin="05:14" end="05:17">Can I dye it, because it's grown back a funny colour? </p>
<p begin="05:17" end="05:22">Hairdresser: The general rule is to colour your hair six months after treatment.</p>
<p begin="05:22" end="05:24">You don't want to have a skin sensitivity reaction to hair dye,</p> 
<p begin="05:24" end="05:28">and the other reason is that you could put a colour on like a light brown, </p>
<p begin="05:28" end="05:32">and it could come out black, again because of the chemicals.</p> 
<p begin="05:33" end="05:37">Bengu: I'm quite looking forward to my new hair and I'm probably going to be more experimental with it this time, </p>
<p begin="05:37" end="05:42">and not just stick to one hair style for ten years. I'm probably going to do some different things with it. </p>
<p begin="05:42" end="05:46">I have thought about having a mohican or doing something crazy with it while I can,</p> 
<p begin="05:46" end="05:50">so I'll look forward to getting those inches.</p>
<p begin="05:51" end="05:53">Hairdresser: Have you ever tried curling it with the GHD?</p>
<p begin="05:53" end="05:56">Bengu: No, I've always wanted to know how to do that but I don't know how to do it.</p>
<p begin="05:56" end="05:59">Hairdresser: If you've got time now I don't mind showing you. </p>
<p begin="05:59" end="06:02">Bengu: Oh really? Can you? That would be wonderful.</p>
<p begin="06:15" end="06:19">Finding out that I was going to lose my hair was a really big deal for me. </p>
<p begin="06:19" end="06:25">It was more upsetting than the cancer, because to me my hair was always my crowning glory.</p>
<p begin="06:25" end="06:28">And when I lost my hair I realised that I could look good without it.</p>
<p begin="06:27" end="06:34"> It was almost a relief when I did because it wasn't such a big deal.</p>
<p begin="06:40" end="06:43">[New speaker] For information, help, or if you just want a chat, </p>
<p begin="06:43" end="06:51">call the Macmillan Support Line on 0808 808 00 00 or visit macmillan.org.uk</p> 
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