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<p begin="00:16" end="00:21">My name's Bengu Shail, I'm 32, and I live in South East London.</p>
<p begin="00:23" end="00:28">I always had really long hair, really long, lovely hair.</p>
<p begin="00:28" end="00:34">I used to spend a lot of money, you know, I was really pedantic about it, and it was quite a bit part of my identity as well.</p>
<p begin="00:35" end="00:41">I was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia on the 21st of September last year.</p>
<p begin="00:41" end="00:48">and from that moment on, the first question I asked my doctor was 'Am I going to lose my hair?'</p>
<p begin="00:48" end="00:52">And she said 'Yes', and I said 'Are you sure, because some people don't lose their hair?'</p>
<p begin="00:52" end="00:57">And she said 'You're definitely going to lose your hair'. So, it was a big shock.</p>
<p begin="01:07" end="01:12">I didn't plan for my hair loss at all. In my mind it was always mind over matter.</p>
<p begin="01:12" end="01:15">I wasn't going to lose my hair and my doctor was wrong.</p> 
<p begin="01:15" end="01:19">I was winning the battle against the hair thing until I had radiotherapy,</p>
<p begin="01:19" end="01:22">and that's when I lost my hair.</p>
<p begin="01:22" end="01:25">For two weeks it was fine, and then it started coming out in clumps.</p>
<p begin="01:25" end="01:31">And that's when everyone started getting really upset in my house about my hair</p>
<p begin="01:31" end="01:39">because I couldn't win any more, I couldn't win the battle. So I asked my sister to get the razor out and start shaving my hair off.</p>
<p begin="01:39" end="01:42">It was a really emotional experience. She was upset, I was upset.</p>
<p begin="01:42" end="01:47">She was trying to pretend to me that she wasn't upset, and I was trying to do the same with her.</p>
<p begin="01:47" end="01:52">We came downstairs and we showed my mum and she was crying</p>
<p begin="01:52" end="02:02">and then I just felt okay. It was almost like I had some sort of closure and it didn't feel as bad as I thought it would.</p>
<p begin="02:03" end="02:10">Hairdresser: Hi there, I'm Emma, I'm Strength in Style consultant for the salon. </p>
<p begin="02:10" end="02:14">So, do you know much about the Strength in Style service that Toni and Guy offer?</p>
<p begin="02:14" end="02:18">Bengu: I know that you help people choose wigs when they're losing their hair but that's all I really know to be honest.</p>
<p begin="02:19" end="02:22">Hairdresser: First of all, we can take you right from the beginning if you want your own hair cut.</p> 
<p begin="02:22" end="02:29">Some people do feel that they want to cut their hair shorter before they're going to start their treatment,</p>
<p begin="02:29" end="02:32">and that's something we can do for you. And then we can go through the wigs as well.</p> 
<p begin="02:32" end="02:36">So we can go through colours and styles together.</p>
<p begin="02:36" end="02:40">Bengu: I've brought two with me, I've got three. </p>
<p begin="01:40" end="02:47">I've got one real hair wig which is basically identical to what my hair used to look like.</p>
<p begin="02:48" end="02:52">Before I lost my hair I decided to wear my wig just to get used to wearing it,</p> 
<p begin="02:52" end="03:00">and it was a really good thing that I did because I didn't feel like somebody wearing a wig, I felt like somebody having fun.</p>
<p begin="03:00" end="03:03">it kind of got me to look at wearing the wig in a different way.</p>
<p begin="03:04" end="03:07">I love this one because I can do whatever I want with it.</p> 
<p begin="03:07" end="03:13">I can put it in rollers. I stick clips in it so I love that, but this is just a lot easier to manage day to day.</p>
<p begin="03:13" end="03:17">Hairdresser: I think the initial thought is to have a real hair wig so it feels more natural</p>
<p begin="03:17" end="03:20">but in the reality of when you're not feeling too well,</p>
<p begin="03:20" end="03:23">when you're going through treatment I think the synthetic one's great, </p>
<p begin="03:23" end="03:26">that you can just put it on and it just moulds itself back into shape.</p>
<p begin="03:26" end="03:32">Bengu: That one's the one that goes to the hairdressers, and this one, I just wear day to day. </p>
<p begin="03:33" end="03:36">When I go out, I like to wear my wigs, it's a way of, you know,</p>
<p begin="03:36" end="03:44">It's another accessory that I put on, that's kind of how I see it, it's a way of dressing up. But I never forget that it's on.</p> 
<p begin="03:44" end="03:49">The first thing I do when I get home is take the wig off and just dump it somewhere.</p>
<p begin="03:49" end="03:54">I'm thinking maybe I should get another one, because I've got three dark ones. It would just be nice to have a different colour.</p>
<p begin="03:54" end="03:59">Hairdresser: These are the swatches that we use, so you can see that there's quite a variety of colours.</p> 
<p begin="03:59" end="04:03">I think if you're going to go for a red, I'd say something a little bit darker.</p>
<p begin="04:04" end="04:11">Bengu: Every wig is different. One of my wigs is like wearing a net on your head. It's like wearing a hat really.</p>
<p begin="04:11" end="04:13">Hairdresser: What kind of style did you have in mind?</p>
<p begin="04:13" end="04:15">Bengu: I was probably thinking of a bob.</p> 
<p begin="04:13" end="04:21">Some wigs are quite hot, and some wigs, depending on what it's like inside, are quite cool to wear.</p>
<p begin="04:21" end="04:26">So you have to choose them really carefully, and make sure that the one you're picking isn't too thick inside.</p>
<p begin="04:26" end="04:28">Bengu: I like that one. </p>
<p begin="04:26" end="04:32">Hairdresser: Yes, so a little shorter version. Okay i'll get them all ordered for you.</p>
<p begin="04:32" end="04:41">Bengu: Oh I've got some questions for you. My hair's starting to grow back, but it's growing back like baby hair.</p>
<p begin="04:41" end="04:43">Hairdresser: Yes, everyone's hair grows back differently. </p>
<p begin="04:43" end="04:47">Some people's will grow back finer and some people's will grow back coarser. </p>
<p begin="04:47" end="04:51">It's usually just that initial hair growth that will be quite different</p>
<p begin="04:51" end="04:56">and you'll find it will change again and it may go back to how your hair was before, it may be a permanent change.</p>
<p begin="04:57" end="05:01">Bengu: I'm probably adverse to going dating at the moment, because of my hair, </p>
<p begin="05:01" end="05:06">and the reason being, and it's probably stupid, but from my point of view, when I like to go out, I like to put my wigs on,</p> 
<p begin="05:06" end="05:12">so when you're dating someone, at what point do you tell them that you're wearing a wig? </p>
<p begin="05:13" end="05:16">Can I dye it, because it's grown back a funny colour? </p>
<p begin="05:16" end="05:21">Hairdresser: The general rule is to colour your hair six months after treatment.</p>
<p begin="05:21" end="05:23">You don't want to have a skin sensitivity reaction to hair dye,</p> 
<p begin="05:23" end="05:27">and the other reason is that you could put a colour on like a light brown, </p>
<p begin="05:27" end="05:31">and it could come out black, again because of the chemicals.</p> 
<p begin="05:32" end="05:36">Bengu: I'm quite looking forward to my new hair and I'm probably going to be more experimental with it this time, </p>
<p begin="05:36" end="05:41">and not just stick to one hair style for ten years. I'm probably going to do some different things with it. </p>
<p begin="05:41" end="05:45">I have thought about having a mohican or doing something crazy with it while I can,</p> 
<p begin="05:45" end="05:49">so I'll look forward to getting those inches.</p>
<p begin="05:50" end="05:52">Hairdresser: Have you ever tried curling it with the GHD?</p>
<p begin="05:52" end="05:55">Bengu: No, I've always wanted to know how to do that but I don't know how to do it.</p>
<p begin="05:55" end="05:58">Hairdresser: If you've got time now I don't mind showing you. </p>
<p begin="05:58" end="06:01">Bengu: Oh really? Can you? That would be wonderful.</p>
<p begin="06:14" end="06:18">Finding out that I was going to lose my hair was a really big deal for me. </p>
<p begin="06:18" end="06:24">It was more upsetting than the cancer, because to me my hair was always my crowning glory.</p>
<p begin="06:24" end="06:27">And when I lost my hair I realised that I could look good without it.</p>
<p begin="06:26" end="06:33"> It was almost a relief when I did because it wasn't such a big deal.</p>
<p begin="06:39" end="06:42">[New speaker] For information, help, or if you just want a chat, </p>
<p begin="06:42" end="06:50">call the Macmillan Support Line on 0808 808 00 00 or visit macmillan.org.uk</p> 
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