My name's Bengu Shail, I'm 32, and I live in South East London.

I always had really long hair, really long, lovely hair.

I used to spend a lot of money, you know, I was really pedantic about it, and it was quite a bit part of my identity as well.

I was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia on the 21st of September last year.

and from that moment on, the first question I asked my doctor was 'Am I going to lose my hair?'

And she said yes, and I said 'Are you sure, because some people don't lose their hair?'

And she said 'You're definitely going to lose your hair'. So, it was a big shock.

I didn't plan for my hair loss at all. In my mind it was always mind over matter.

I wasn't going to lose my hair and my doctor was wrong. I was winning the battle against the hair thing until I had radiotherapy, and that's when I lost my hair.

For two weeks it was fine, and then it started coming out in clumps.

And that's when everyone started getting really upset in my house about my hair

because I couldn't win any more, I couldn't win the battle. So I asked my sister to get the razor out and start shaving my hair off.

It was a really emotional experience. She was upset, I was upset.

She was trying to pretend to me that she wasn't upset, and I was trying to do the same with her.

We came downstairs and we showed my Mum and she was crying

and then I just felt okay. It was almost like I had some sort of closure and it didn't feel as bad as I thought it would.

Hairdresser: Hi there, I'm Emma, I'm Strength in Style consultant for the salon.

So, do you know much about the Strength in Style service at Toni & Guy?

Bengu: I know that you help people choose wigs when they're losing their hair but that's all I really know to be honest.

Hairdresser: First of all, we can take you right from the beginning if you want your own hair cut.

Some people do feel that they want to cut their hair shorter before they're going to start their treatment,

and that's something we can do for you. And then we can go through the wigs as well.

So we can go through colours and styles together.

Bengu: I've brought two with me, I've got three. I've got one real hair wig which is basically identical to what my hair used to look like.

Before I lost my hair I decided to wear my wig just to get used to wearing it,

and it was a really good thing that I did because I didn't feel like somebody wearing a wig, I felt like somebody having fun.

It kind of got me to look at wearing the wig in a different way.

I love this one because I can do whatever I want with it.

I can put it in rollers. I can put clips in it so I love that, but this is just a lot easier to manage day to day.

Hairdresser: I think the initial thought is to have a real hair wig so it feels more natural

but in the reality of when you're not feeling too well,

when you're going through treatment I think the synthetic one's great, that you can just put it on and it just moulds itself back into shape.

That one's the one that goes to the hairdressers, and that one, I just wear day to day.

When I go out, I like to wear my wigs, it's a way of, you know. . .

It's another accessory that I put on, that's how I see it, as a way of dressing up, but I never forget that it's on.

The first thing I do when I get home is take the wig off and just dump it somewhere.

I'm thinking maybe I should get another one, because I've got three dark ones. It would just be nice to have a different colour.

Hairdresser: These are the swatches that we use, so you can see that there's quite a variety of colours.

I think if you're going to go for a red, I'd say something a little bit darker.

Bengu: Every wig is different. One of my wigs is like wearing a net on your head. It's like wearing a hat really.

Hairdresser: What kind of style did you have in mind?

Bengu: I was probably thinking of a bob.

Some wigs are quite hot, and some wigs, depending on what it's like inside, are quite cool to wear.

So you have to choose them really carefully, and make that the one you're picking isn't too thick inside.

Bengu: I like that one.

Hairdresser: Yes, so a little shorter version. Okay i'll get them all ordered for you.

Bengu: Oh i've got some questions for you. My hair's starting to grow back, but it's growing back like baby hair.

Hairdresser: Yes, everyone's hair grows back differently. Some people's will grow back finer and some people's will grow back coarser.

It's usually just that initial hair growth that will be quite different

and you'll find it will change again and it may go back to how your hair was before, it may be a permanent change.

Bengu: I'm probably averse to going dating at the moment, because of my hair,

and the reason being. . . and it's probably stupid but from my point of view, when I like to go out, I like to put my wigs on,

so when you're dating someone, at what point do you tell them that you're wearing a wig?

Can I dye it, because it's grown back a funny colour?

Hairdresser: The general rule is to colour your hair six months after treatment.

You don't want to have a skin sensitivity reaction to hair dye,

and the other reason is that you could put a colour on like a light brown, and it could come out black, again because of the chemicals.

Bengu: I'm quite looking forward to my new hair and I'm probably going to be more experimental with it this time, and not just stick to one hair style for ten years.

I'm probably going to do some different things with it. I have thought about having a mohican or doing something crazy with it while I can,

so I'll look forward to getting those inches.

Hairdresser: Have you ever tried curling it with the GHD? [hair stylers]

Bengu: No, I've always wanted to know how to do that but I don't know how to do it.

Hairdresser: If you've got time now I don't mind showing you. Bengu: Oh really? Can you? That would be wonderful.

Finding out that I was going to lose my hair was a really big deal to me.

It was more upsetting than the cancer, because to me my hair was always my crowning glory.

And when I lost my hair I realised that I could look good without it. It was almost a relief when I did because it wasn't such a big deal.

For information, help, or if you just want a chat, call the Macmillan Support Line on 0808 808 00 or visit macmillan.org.uk