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Macmillan and Cancerbackup merged in 2008. Together we provide free, high quality information for people affected by cancer through our publications, website and phone service. Find out more|.
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If the person you’re talking to is your spouse or sexual partner, don’t ignore the subject of sex.
If you had an active sex life before the illness, it will probably be affected by the diagnosis or its treatment. Many factors affect this, such as fear of the illness and its treatment, resentment about the illness, change in physical appearance, embarrassment and so on.
All of the above can make both partners withdraw from each other physically and feel awkward. Quite often, sex may stop completely - often at a time when you most need to be reassured and cuddled. If you feel your partner is distant from you, try telling them as gently as you can. With support and clear communication, you can still enjoy a fulfilling sex life, or intimacy if sex isn’t possible.
Try to explain your needs and discuss what can be done by either or both of you. Of course, it can be embarrassing to talk about these issues - but a simple discussion can make a big difference. If you ignore the subject, it may gradually lead to resentment and mistrust on both sides.
You may find our section on Sexuality and cancer| helpful.
For answers, support or just a chat, call the Macmillan Support Line free (Monday to Friday, 9am-8pm)
If you have any questions about cancer, need support or just want someone to talk to, ask Macmillan.