Effects on sex and relationships

If the person you are talking to is your spouse or sexual partner, don’t ignore the subject of sex. If you had an active sex life before the illness, it will probably be affected by the diagnosis. Many factors affect this: fear of the illness and of the treatment, resentment about the illness, change in physical appearance, embarrassment and so on.

All of the above can make both partners withdraw from each other physically and feel shy and awkward. Quite often, sex may stop completely – often at a time when you most need to be reassured and cuddled. If that happens, then you can say so – as coolly and calmly as possible.

Try to explain your needs and discuss what can be done by either or both of you. Of course, it can be embarrassing to talk about these issues – but a very small amount of discussion can make a big difference. If you ignore the subject, it may cause serious resentment and mistrust on both sides.

Our section on sexuality and cancer| might be helpful. You can also talk to one of our cancer support specialists|.