Talking to your work colleagues

Telling your colleagues Back to top

Talking about cancer can be very difficult. You may worry about how your colleagues will react – will they withdraw from you? Will they blame you? Or you may worry that talking about the cancer might make things awkward for yourself or your colleagues.

Some people may avoid you because they don’t know what to say and are afraid of saying the wrong thing. You can help them by bringing up the subject and showing that you are willing to talk about the cancer.

Telling your colleagues can help as they then know what to expect. For example, if fatigue affects your moods or concentration, it gives them the opportunity to support you.

If you don’t want to tell colleagues Back to top

For some people it is the right thing not to tell colleagues. You may not want to tell your colleagues that you have cancer, so that you can keep one area of your life as normal as possible. This is a good way of coping for some people.

However, sometimes the effects of the cancer or cancer treatment (for example, if your hair falls out), and the need to take time off may make it impossible not to tell your colleagues.

Remember too, that your colleagues may be aware from your behaviour that something is wrong, and may feel uncomfortable if they do not know what it is.

Risk to colleagues Back to top

There are many myths and misunderstandings about cancer. Some of your colleagues may worry that they can catch your cancer. But cancer can’t be passed on like an infection and the people you work with have no risk of catching cancer.

Some people may also worry that they could be harmed if you are having treatments such as chemotherapy or radiotherapy. Again, there is no risk to your colleagues. Chemotherapy| is broken down in the body and can’t harm anyone you come into contact with. Radiotherapy| treatment from an external machine doesn’t make you radioactive.

Even if you’ve had internal radiotherapy, the radiation will only affect a small area of tissue in your body around the cancer and will not affect anyone that you come into contact with.

If you find it difficult to discuss these issues with your colleagues, you may find it helpful to talk in confidence to our cancer support specialists|.

If you are a colleague of someone with cancer Back to top

When a colleague has been diagnosed with cancer, people can react in many different ways.

Some may have dealt with cancer before – perhaps they’ve had a family member who has had cancer. But others may not have dealt with cancer or any other serious illness before, and they may feel at a loss to know what to say or do. Some people may feel too embarrassed to say anything at all.

Your colleague may have told you themselves that they have cancer. Or you might have been told by someone else.

If your colleague tells you themselves, you could ask them how you can help and whether they’d like you to ask after their health, or would they rather not talk about it. You could ask who else knows of their situation, and if they want to keep it to only a few people or whether it’s general knowledge. Take the lead from them about how they want to handle the situation.

There are some things that can generally help:

• Don’t go quiet when your colleague walks into the room.
• Do respect your colleagues wish for privacy and confidentiality.
• Don’t overdo the sympathy. Your colleague may be trying to keep life as normal as possible where they can – too much sympathy may just remind them of the cancer.
• Remember to invite your colleague to any social arrangements or other events. They will appreciate the invitation even if they’re unable to come.
• Keeping in touch can be very helpful. If your co-worker maybe off sick for a while, find out the best way to keep in touch. This might be a regular phone call or visit, or maybe regular emails or using a social networking website. You can ask your colleague what they’d like to know about and how often they’d like to hear from you.

A cancer diagnosis can often mean that we experience a range of emotions|. These may include shock, sadness and anxiety. Some people find it difficult to talk about cancer or share their feelings.

You might think it’s best to carry on as normal, as if nothing is wrong. But it’s quite natural to feel upset or worried if your co-worker has been diagnosed with cancer. It’s important to talk about your feelings, especially if it has a big impact on you at work.

You may find it helpful to talk to other colleagues or people outside of work. Some workplaces have an Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) or other support network to help employees affected by cancer or other illness. These are often available through the Human Resources department.