Talking to your family as an older person with cancer

However, if you feel able to deal with the diagnosis of cancer and want to be involved in your treatment and care, it’s important to explain this to your family.

Your family may worry that you won’t be able to cope with knowing that you have cancer, or that you will stop fighting to get better. They may ask your doctors to talk to them before talking to you.

However, doctors aren’t allowed to discuss your diagnosis and treatment| with other people unless you are present or have given your permission for them to do this.

You may feel frustrated and angry if people are trying to protect you. Remember your family are acting with your best interests at heart and mean well. But it can put a strain on the family when you can’t be open with each other about what is going on. You may feel unable to talk openly with them about the cancer and they may be reluctant to discuss things because they don’t want to upset you.

If you’re able to discuss your situation openly with your family they can be involved in any discussions you have about your treatment and care. They’ll also be able to give you support. And if your cancer is advanced|, talking about it may make it easier to share your feelings with each other, and this can make the situation a little easier to cope with.

Some people genuinely prefer not to know if they have cancer, or don’t want to know how long they are likely to live. This is their right, and as long as there are other family members who can explain to the doctors how the person with cancer feels, then it’s not a problem.

You might find our information on talking about your cancer| useful.