Seeking professional help for your feelings and emotions

If you find that your feelings and emotions are overwhelming and are stopping you from being able to carry on normally with your life, then it may be time to get professional help. Making this decision yourself can help you feel much more in control.

However, sometimes it’s difficult to realise that you are slipping into depression, even when it’s obvious to others who are close to you. Do listen to your partner, family members or friends if they say you seem to be depressed or if they suggest that you need help.

Appointments are usually short, so try to plan what you want to say before you see the doctor. It can help to write things down before the appointment. When you are with the doctor, try to tell them how you really feel – focus on what concerns you most of all. This will help your doctor to give the most helpful advice or treatment for you. Consider taking a friend or partner along to help you remember everything you want to discuss. Taking someone along with you also means that they can remind you what the doctor said. Some GPs are happy for the discussion to be recorded, so you can listen to it later.

If you find that the first GP you see is unhelpful or difficult to talk to, try another one in the practice. There are many other members of the wider healthcare team who may be able to help you cope with your feelings and emotions. Each has a different role to play, but usually you will only need the help of one or two. Not all of these will be available in your area, but your GP can help you to find out those that are.

Counsellors are people who are trained to listen and help people talk through their problems. They will not give advice or answers, but will help you find your own answers. This can be very helpful, particularly if you do not feel able to discuss your feelings and emotions with people close to you.

Clinical psychologists are trained to understand what people think and feel, and how they behave, particularly in stressful situations such as coping with cancer. If you are depressed or anxious, a clinical psychologist can help you feel better by changing your ways of thinking or the things that you do .

Specialist cancer nurses can give information and also talk to you about the emotional effects of the cancer and help you to find ways of coping.

Oncologist/cancer specialists are doctors who specialise in treating cancer. Although most oncologists will have some experience of helping people deal with the emotional effects of cancer, they may want to concentrate on treating the cancer and prefer that you discuss feelings and emotions with a clinical psychologist, counsellor or your GP.

A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who specialises in depression and other mental illnesses.

Community psychiatric nurses (CPNs) are nurses who specialise in helping people to cope with all types of mental illness. They may visit you regularly at home or run group therapy sessions. Many are trained in problem-solving therapy or counselling.

If your GP suggests referring you to a psychiatrist, this doesn’t necessarily mean that there is anything seriously wrong with you. Seeing a psychiatrist can be helpful if:

• there are problems with your medicines
• you have severe anxiety or depression
• after a full course of treatment, you are unable to stop taking antidepressants without depression coming back.

A psychiatrist may refer you for talking therapies.

There are many different types of talking therapy| available, including psychological therapy and counselling. These have all been shown to benefit people who have anxiety or depression, and can be useful for people affected by cancer. Although a few specific types of talking therapies are mentioned here, there are many others to choose from.

Give the therapy a good try. Then, if you don't think that it is helping, or you feel it may be making things worse, talk to your doctor or therapist about it. It may be that another approach would work better for you.

Many people can get support by talking to close family members or friends. However, it can sometimes help to talk to someone from outside your circle of family and friends, who has been trained to listen and help you explore your feelings. The emotions you feel may be very tangled and confused. You may find them difficult to talk about with your friends or family.

Talking one-to-one with a trained counsellor in a more focused way can help you sort out your feelings and find ways of coping with them. You may need to pay for counselling.

Some GPs have counsellors within their practice, or they can refer you to a counsellor. The Cancer Counselling Trust provides face to face counselling for people in London, and telephone counselling for anyone outside London. One-to-one, couples or family counselling is available.

We have two useful sections on talking about cancer| and how to talk to someone with cancer|.

When people feel that they are not coping well with life or circumstances, they can feel anxious and depressed. It can then be hard to believe that things can change or that there is anything that they can do that may help. This creates a vicious circle. Learning to cope better helps people feel less anxious and depressed. One way of achieving this is by a method called problem solving.

The therapist will help you sort out and list all your concerns and difficulties. Together, you will choose one problem to work on – you will then be helped to think of your own ways of solving the problem and look at all the pros and cons of each solution. Then in the time between sessions you will be encouraged to try out a solution of your choice. This is an important part of the treatment.

It can seem difficult to get started, but the therapist will help you choose an achievable goal. Satisfaction in achieving your goal is the beginning of overcoming the bigger problems.

Problem solving treatment can be effective in overcoming symptoms of anxiety and depression for many people.

The way we think about things – ourselves, our world, the future – has a powerful effect on how we feel. People who are anxious or depressed often have negative patterns of thinking and behaviour, which keep them feeling low in spirit. Cognitive behavioural therapy is designed to break this cycle.

When people are depressed, they often stop doing the things they used to enjoy. The loss of pleasurable activities adds to depression. The behavioural part of the treatment is designed to help you find out what you can do that gives you a sense of satisfaction and pleasure. Even when nothing else changes, the way you think about things can affect on how you feel. The therapist will help you recognise the negative thoughts that are making you feel low, and will help you find effective ways to challenge them.

You will be helped to set yourself achievable goals. This is important because experiencing success will help you feel less depressed. As you begin to feel better, you will be able to do more, which will in turn help you to feel even better.