Talking to your employer when you become a carer

Initial discussion Back to top

Your employer should be sensitive to the fact that you’re coping with a cancer diagnosis. It can be a very difficult time which often turns people’s lives upside down. They should allow you to tell the news in your own way.

You can choose to have a colleague, friend, trade union or employee representative with you during the meeting. Anyone attending the meeting should respect your privacy.

Your manager may choose to make notes of the meeting. If so, they should offer you a copy of the notes, and they can’t share them with anyone else without your permission. You may also wish to take your own notes.

Typically, this first discussion will cover topics such as:

• your reaction to becoming a working carer
• who knows about your situation, who you would like to know and who needs to know
• whether, and how, you would like other managers and colleagues to be told and what you would like to be said.

Your employer will also want to get some idea of the likely impact of your caring responsibilities on your ability to attend work and fulfil your work duties. It will help to be prepared to talk about this in general terms, explaining to the employer that treatment for cancer doesn’t always follow a smooth course and that last-minute changes may happen.

At this initial stage, you should begin to think about ways of doing your job that will suit both you and your employer.

The company will want to hear your thoughts about:

• the likely impact that being a carer will have on you personally - and your ability to do your job - in the short, medium and long term
• how you think you will manage your work commitments during the time you are a carer.

Your employer will be trying to balance:

• Work and time off - cancer treatment doesn’t always go exactly to plan - plans will need constant fine-tuning as you know more about the situation, and as treatment progresses.
• Company procedures (where they exist) and your specific needs as an employee. If your employer doesn’t have procedures in place for carers, your manager may find the situation difficult as they may have to make decisions without guidance. If procedures exist but are too rigid, there may need to be some flexibility in their interpretation. The human resources department should also be aware of your legal rights as a carer, including flexible working, time off and emergency leave.
• The level of communication required and the level of communication you want about your situation with your manager, as well as with other managers and colleagues in your team.
• The workload of your team - if you will need to have regular time off to carry out your carer responsibilities, this can impact on the rest of the team.

Support at work

You may want to discuss things your employer can do that will help you as a carer. Many employers support carers in a variety of ways. Take time to think about what you will need to change to help you in your dual role as carer and employee.

Some employers may offer:

• a buddy or mentor
• access to a private telephone so that you can call the person you are caring for
• a reserved car parking space, to make getting in and out of work quicker and easier.

As well as talking to your line manager or human resources department, you may:

• be able to talk to a welfare rights officer, occupational health adviser, a union representative, or employee assistance programme (EAP) counsellor, all of who will offer understanding and support
• be put in touch with local support and networking groups.

Information from your employer

It’s likely that your employer will take this opportunity to provide you with the company’s information on:

• sick leave, sick pay, absence and leave policies (including emergency leave), and the associated remuneration and salary policies
• any relevant company benefits
• flexible working and work adjustment policies

It’s important to remember that not all companies will offer the same benefits. The person you’re caring for may be given different information by their employer. However, all companies need to give their employees information about their statutory rights, and should be able to signpost you to further sources of information about:

• relevant statutory benefits
• how to talk to your colleagues about cancer and the challenges of being a carer.
• specialist organisations, such as Macmillan, and relevant charity helplines and websites, such as Carers UK
• counselling services that may be available to you as an employee.

Remember that each situation is different. You will need your own programme of support to meet your changing circumstances. The more open you are about your situation with your managers and your colleagues, the more they will be able to support you.

Unfortunately, some managers or colleagues may not be as sympathetic as you hope or expect, but if you don’t keep them informed then it makes it difficult for them to understand.

We have information for employers of people with cancer.

After the initial meeting Back to top

Following this meeting, you can ask for a copy of any notes that have been taken, and make it clear whether you want anyone else in the company to see them. The company should respect your right to privacy, as should all those involved in the first meeting.

If, after reflection, you feel you need to discuss and agree the points raised in the first meeting, you should ask for another meeting to do so. Regular reviews are then helpful to check how arrangements are working, and to ensure you’re receiving enough support. Any changes to the initial plan should be discussed and agreed as needed. It can also help to make the following clear:

• Who your main contact in the company will be in case your situation suddenly changes (and a secondary contact if the main contact isn’t available).
• Whether you would prefer someone else to tell your work colleagues about your situation. Your employer can arrange for this to be carried out in a sensitive manner. Ideally this will be by someone who has a good understanding of cancer and the effects of treatment on both the person with cancer and the carer, and who is able to deal with the reactions of those being told.