Talking to your employer

1. Initial discussion Back To Top

If you decide to talk to your employer, the first step is to have a discussion with your manager, to tell them about your new role as a carer.

Your employer should be sensitive to the fact that coping with a cancer diagnosis in the family can be very difficult, and that it can often turn people’s lives upside down. They will need to allow you to tell the news in your own way.

You may wish to have a colleague, friend, trade union or employee representative with you during the meeting, but they will need to respect your right to privacy. This applies to all further meetings and discussions with your employer.

The company representative may need to make notes of the meeting. They should offer you a copy of the notes, but can’t share them with anyone else without your permission.

Typically, this first discussion will cover topics such as:

• your reaction to becoming a working carer
• who knows, who you would like to know and who needs to know
• whether, and how, you would like other managers and colleagues to be told about your situation
• what you would like to be said.

Your employer will also want to get some idea of the likely impact of your caring responsibilities on your ability to attend work and fulfil your work duties. It will help to be prepared to talk about this in general terms, explaining to the employer that treatment for cancer doesn’t always follow a smooth course and that last-minute changes may happen. 

At this initial stage, you should begin to think about ways of doing your job that will suit both you and your employer. The company will want to hear your thoughts about:

• the likely impact on you personally – as well as on your ability to do your job – of caring for someone with cancer in the short-, medium- and long-term
• how you think you might manage your work commitments during the time you are a carer.

Your employer will be trying to balance:

• Work and time off – cancer treatment does not always go exactly to plan; plans will need constant fine-tuning, as more facts become known and as treatment progresses.

• Company procedures (where they exist) and your specific needs as an employee. If your employer doesn’t have procedures in place for carers, your manager may find the situation difficult as they may have to make decisions without guidance.
  If procedures exist, but are too rigid, they may need some flexibility in their interpretation. HR should also be aware of your legal rights as a carer including flexible working, time off and emergency leave etc.

• The level of communication required and the level of communication you want about your situation with your manager as well as with other managers and colleagues in your team.

• The workload of your team – if you will need to have regular periods of absence in order to carry out your carer responsibilities, this can impact on the rest of the team.

Support at work

You may want to discuss things your employer can do that will help you as a carer. Many employers support carers in a variety of ways. Take time to think about what you will need to change to help you in your dual role as carer and employee. Consider what support you would like from your employer, such as:

• access to a private telephone so that you can call the person you are caring for
• a reserved car parking space, to make getting in and out of work quicker and easier.

As well as talking to your line manager or HR/personnel manager, you may:

• be able to talk to a welfare officer, occupational health adviser, or employee assistance programme counsellor, who understands the issues and challenges facing carers
• be put in touch with local support and networking groups.

Information from your employer

It’s likely that your employer will take this opportunity to provide you with the company’s information on:

• sick leave, sick pay, absence and leave policies (including emergency leave), and the associated remuneration and salary policies
• any relevant company benefits
• flexible working and work adjustment policies
• any employee assistance programme (EAP) or occupational health service available to you.

It’s important to remember that not all companies will offer the same benefits. The person you are caring for may be given different information by their employer. However, all companies need to give their employees information on their statutory rights, and should be able to signpost you to further sources of information about:

• relevant statutory benefits
• how to talk to your colleagues about cancer and the challenges of being a carer. This support should come from a qualified health manager, or a reputable independent source such as Macmillan.
• other specialist organisations, charity helplines and websites, such as Carers UK
• counselling services that may be available to you as an employee, perhaps from an EAP or your occupational health department.

Remember that each situation is different. You will need your own programme of support to meet your changing circumstances. The more open you are about your situation with your managers and your work colleagues, the more they will be able to support you.

Unfortunately, some managers or colleagues may not be as sympathetic as you hope or expect, but if you don’t keep them informed then it makes it difficult for them to understand.

 

2. After the initial meeting Back To Top

Following this meeting, you can ask for a copy of any notes that have been taken, and make it clear whether you want anyone else in the company to see them. The company will respect your right to privacy, as will all those involved in the first meeting.

If, after reflection, you feel you need to discuss and agree the points raised in the first meeting, you should ask for another meeting to do so.

Regular reviews are then helpful to check how arrangements are working, and to ensure you are receiving enough support. Any changes to the initial plan need to be discussed and agreed as and when necessary and/or appropriate.

It can also help to make clear:

• who your main contact in the company will be in case your situation suddenly changes
• whether you would prefer someone else to tell your work colleagues about your situation. Your employer can arrange for this to be carried out in a sensitive manner. Ideally this will be by someone who has a good understanding of cancer and the effects of treatment on both the person with cancer and the carer, and who is able to deal with the reactions of those being told.