If you are a friend or relative

Visitors are very important to people in hospital, especially if they have to be nursed on their own. Most hospitals allow relatively free visiting. When you arrive it is best to let the nurse in charge of the ward know that you want to visit your relative or friend, before you go in to see them.

You will have to take certain precautions to make sure you do not take in any infection. If you are unsure about anything, ask the nurses or doctors.

• You should not visit if you are at all unwell, even with a minor cold or infection.
• Many hospitals allow children to visit - but, not if they are unwell or have been in contact with other children with an infectious disease such as chickenpox. It is best to check with the hospital staff.
• Follow any hospital instructions (eg to wash and dry your hands thoroughly or to put on protective clothing) before going into the patient’s room.
• Ask the nursing staff about bringing in food, flowers, etc.

Even with the protective measures, you can still kiss, hug or hold your friend or relative’s hand and give comfort and support by being there. If you cannot visit, a telephone call or card to the patient will help them to feel less isolated.

Be prepared for the fact that your friend or relative will not look or feel well, and may not have enough energy for many visitors or for a long visit. It may be helpful if one person coordinates visiting, so that the patient is not overwhelmed.

It is often enough just to sit with your relative or friend. You don't have to worry about keeping them entertained. Often, patients may not feel like seeing anyone, and this is quite normal. Don’t be upset or take it personally if you are asked to miss a visit.

Our section Talking to someone with cancer| looks at some of the difficulties people may have when talking about cancer, and suggests ways of overcoming them.

If you are worried about anything, please talk to the doctors and nurses on the unit or ward. They rely on the patient’s family and friends to play an important part in helping the patient through this difficult procedure.